When I'm making a purchase, even if it's not big ticket, I always check to see what fair pricing is. You are 100% correct in that matter. What I'm referring to when I refer to someone stroking different sales people is someone that has complete disregard for the time and effort that these 100% commission sales people give that customer. The customer has no respect for the work that someone does to help them and only wants to take one dealers price and use it to create a "bidding war" for their business. No one customers business is worth a frustrating "bid" between dealers.
Now, that said, in the present example of the Kia Telluride, there are hundreds of dealers charging $3,000, $5,000, or more over the Manufacturers Suggested Retail Price. That is unfair. That is price gouging. One of my managers wants me to do that on ours "because everyone else is doing it" and I told him no. I refuse. So, what that means currently is that the suggested price by Kia is MORE than fair in the market and then you get up to $2,500 off on top of that.
And when it comes to "just business", YES we take it personally when customers take our time and effort and then use us to get a $100 better price from some thief down the street.